to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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