erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
