I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You ate ashes out of my bong
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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