i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
