You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
