apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize