I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
