Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
