she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
