BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My penis needs a shock collar
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
