i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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