dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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