And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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