Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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