Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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