no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
