you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
