I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
