I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
