He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize