where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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