I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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