We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
