can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
