I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
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Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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