The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
