Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
