They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and she was petting her beer can
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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