How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
