four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize