I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she smelled like a LAN party
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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