too bad you live with your parents still
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
