i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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