Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize