Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i think i have two assholes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
