I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
