obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize