Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
