my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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