lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
