hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize