i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
