Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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