I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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