i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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