so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
