That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
