Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
