Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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