my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I didn't notice because vodka
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
