It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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