Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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