yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
