She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize