That's when you crack a 10am beer
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he fucked my hip out of place.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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