Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
