When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
