i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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