I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
