He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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