i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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