In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
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I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?