dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.