I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".