I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You dont lie about slip and slides
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!